Wank-a-Holics Anonymous.

I haven’t had sex in two weeks. [One Ball, obviously.] Two weeks and two days if you want me to get really exact about things. I’m such a frustrated little bunny today. Super frustrated. Like a walking erection but with a vagina. That doesn’t even make sense, does it? Meh. Whatever. I’m SUPER frustrated.

I’m used to going without sex for weeks at a time. I was an Army WAG to start with and that meant going without sex for four or six months at a time, sometimes. Plus I had many a military boyfriend before that. The military, left-on-your-own life is a normal way of life to me. And then I was an oilfield WAG on The Other Side of the World, my boyfriend away for two or three weeks at a time. Being left to my own devices isn’t unusual for me, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Because I don’t like it. It doesn’t normally cause me problems like I’m experiencing right now, though. I’m basically throbbing from morning to night … and most of the night too, if my soaking wet pants were anything to go by this morning. I have a feeling that I might’ve been jerking off in my sleep again. If the soaking wet underwear wasn’t enough to give the game away, the sticky fingers that smelled like me sure did.

I have a high sex drive. It’s rare for me to turn down sex, and I’d stay in bed fucking my significant other all day long if I could. I think about sex more than I let on, and I also wank a lot more than I let on. It’s definitely been more than usual today. I made myself cum when I first woke up. I was already soaking wet and it would have been a waste otherwise. I wanked in the loos at work, at lunchtime. I came home, smoked a joint, and wanked again. I did it again about an hour after that. And just before I started writing this blog post, I made myself cum one more time. You know, just in case I forgot what it was like.

Even by my high standards, this is a bit much.

There seems to be sex everywhere I look. It’s like the universe’s way of reminding me just how much sex I’m NOT getting even though I’m now in what is considered to be a ‘stable’ relationship. I was having more sex when I considered myself single … how is that fair?

And what makes things worse is that super hot guys are everywhere I look. I served one at work today with the sexiest smile and the nicest, whitest teeth. Add brown floppy hair that was pushed over to one side, a big, black coat, and a grey scarf. I can remember every little bit about him, that’s how hot I thought he was. And as soon as I’d finished serving him, I asked for a lunch break, headed upstairs, and quietly relieved some of my frustration.

I can’t remember any other time I’ve ever been THIS horny. It’s constant, with no reprieve. If it carries on like this, I might have to see someone. It’s starting to become a real fucking problem.

IF YOU LIKED THIS, I THINK YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THESE:

TWO, MAYBE THREE TIMES

A BLAST OF A THIRD DATE

NUDGE, NUDGE